The pastrami plate contains approximately ten pieces of pastrami, mashed potatoes, gravy, house salad, and bread and butter.
Point/counterpoint
Murch: So, Loquisha, how was your lunch?
Loquisha: Oh, it was $11.49. Hella expensive.
Murch: WHAT? Has the dollar weakened that far? Damn sub-prime crisis.
Loquisha: Yup, but worth it. It's always been that much. You just gotta try it.
Murch: It cannot be that good. In today's age of rising oil prices and bankruptcy, how did you afford an $11.49 lunch on your meager wages, Quish? How are we going to send our kids to college?
Loquisha: Welll, Murch. Today, I felt like mixing it up a bit. Spoil myself. Sooo, Instead of getting my usual regular meat for lunch, I decided to get me some expensive ass meat. So I headed on over to my mo' meat headquarters, Chick 'n' Coop.
Murch: What makes this meat better than your "usual" meat, Loquisha? I'm no chopped liver. Pun intended!
Loquisha: I ordered me that tasty ass pastrami plate. That sumbitch carved up practically the entire pastrami bird for me. Is that what pastrami comes from, Murch?
Murch: Well, Loquisha, I'm not really familiar with your "ethnic" meats. I told you that when I met you. But I believe it's a well seasoned piece of beef. Let me Wikipedia it...
Loquisha: He was slicin, and dicin. Ohhhh Lord, my mouth was watering. Slice afta slice, afta slice. I think he carved up a whole pastrami family for me.
Murch: How many slices of pastrami were there? Surely not enough to justify nearly a dozen dollars!
Loquisha: Then you know me, Murch. I gotsta have me some fixins! So I said, "Listen here, sumbitch. Gimme some of that mashed up potatoes, and some of that gravy sauce. And don't get cheap with me, son. Oh no. Drench those tasty taters with that gravy. Of course, Murch, you know I gotta keep this figure looking all good and sexy, so I ordered some of that house salad, too...with extra dressing, of course."
Murch: Well mission accomplished, Quish. You're as sexy as ever. But that sounds like a lot of food! Enough to feed an impoverished country. Exactly how many slices of "pastrami bird" were there?
Loquisha: There had to be at least ten thick, mouthwatering slices, Murch. All juicy with baby pastrami juice. Taaaaaasty.
Murch:
Loquisha:
Now listen, Murch. I like a little fat on my meat, just like I like a little fat on my men.
Murch: /blushing
Loquisha: But when I gotsta be bitin' down on my meat like I'm chewin' on a Michelin tire, we got a problem. Clumpy fat is a no no in my book, Murch.
Murch: That's ironic, because are you aware that the Michelin company is the highest esteemed restaurant review firm in the world? Restaurants are honored to receive even one Michelin star.
Loquisha: Murch, don't get all smart on me, boy. The only thing that's ironic is the fact that I married your faggoty ass.
Murch: Well, Quish, was it worth the $11.49, fat clumps and all?
Loquisha: Well, let me say this, Murch. When I usually go there, I ask for the lean meat. This time I was in a rush cuz I had to go get my hair did, so I forgot. So I can't complain too much bout my clumpy pastrami bird slices.
Murch: And Quish, am I worth it? Fat clumps and all?
Loquisha: Are YOU worth it? Murch, I would trade you in for a sack of balls and Spam sandwich if there were any takers.
Murch: Um...oh geez...oh! Loquisha, this will make you happy. I did some more research, and you're right, like always. Pastrami is a bird! I found a diagram. You're so smart.
